How can you handle difficult team members as a product manager?

Understand people. “Difficult” can mean many different things but everybody on the team wants good for the product. Some of these difficult people: - Might have authority. - Might own an important department. - Might have the power to block processes. Identify who handles what and accordingly address their concerns.

It's easy to throw up our hands and label someone as "difficult," but reality is often more nuanced! Think about times in the past when other people labeled you as "difficult" - you likely weren't actually being difficult for the sake of being difficult. Instead, you had specific perspectives and context that others hadn't yet realized. You were probably clashing with others due to structural communication gaps. Therefore, provide the same grace to others that you provide to yourself. You're not difficult, you're reasonable; you just have a different mental model of the world. The same thing applies to everyone else! People tend to succeed more often once they've removed the concept of "a difficult person" from their vocabulary.

A tip, before inviting someone to talk, have the idea that behind the position, or function of that employee, there is a person, and people have emotions that they cannot always control. Have emotional intelligence to deal with these moments. Here are some more tips: - Be discreet, invite the person for a chat, without judgement. This will give you the opportunity to understand their point of view and build trust. - Be clear and concise about your expectations. Make sure your team member knows what you expect of them. - Offer support and guidance. If your team member is struggling, offer to help them develop the skills or knowledge they need. - Be patient. It can take time to resolve an issue with a difficult team member.

Get to know concerns. - Is the solution good but time taking? - Is it not that simple enough for users to understand. - Are the designs not articulating the value clearly? Etc etc. Identify what exactly is being felt as a bottleneck and work towards it. Question the approach, not the person.

Difficult can have different interpretations. Here I am going to the take the use case of difficult meaning not easily convinced. In this case, first step would be to understand the reason of the disagreement. Be open to hearing different perspective and understand the views of the “difficult” team members. Make them feel valued and that you will incorporate their input and feedback. Then communicate your perspective and create an environment to make them feel that you are open to their ideas and the decision would be a result of your discussion with them.

I prefer reversing the order here. We shouldn't start with "communicating"; we should start with "listening." Start with a simple question: "How do you feel about the way that we're working together right now?" Listen. Then ask more questions: "Where do you feel we could be collaborating more effectively? What suggestions do you have for modifying our way of working?" Listen again. Then ask even more questions: "I could be totally off base here, but I'm sensing resistance. What pieces of the puzzle am I missing?" Listen even more. Before we "communicate", keep the following in mind: Every person wants to be heard, understood, and respected. If they don't feel that from you yet, they're not going to listen to your communications!

However, understanding the perspective and being open is better than encouraging the attention. Could lead to defensiveness or conflicts if not handled delicately. Also may not address underlying systemic problems. - collaborating on solutions - setting clear practical expectations - being consistent and fair Could help.

Anti-patterns to avoid: 1) Don't complain about the person behind their back. Word travels fast, and you don't want to be seen as a PM who can't handle conflict. As you complain more, your mindset becomes more negative. You become less likely to see them as a peer with valuable insights and valid needs; you become more likely to see them as a problem. 2) Don't play the triangle game. Don't escalate to your manager, their manager, or other managers until you've tried to work it out with them. 3) Don't escalate as a threat. If you can't work it out, escalate compassionately: "It looks like the two of us can't solve this on our own. Are you comfortable with me bringing in both of our managers to figure out how to move forward?"

Instead of one-size-fits-all, tailor your support to their specific needs. Start by understanding their behavior. Many times, their challenge comes from "not seeing a viable path forward." That's why sometimes, pairing them with teammates can help accelerate their growth and ease the challenge. People learn from others, after all! When they see how others navigate challenges, they're more likely to do so on their own. And of course, feedback is a two-way street. Encourage them to share their thoughts on team processes, and ask them where you can improve. Ultimately, we want to unlock their potential to contribute to the team and the product! We don't want them to spin their wheels and be frustrated, so it's our duty to unblock them.

Every individual is different and a product manager should learn to deal with individuals with diverse skills, attitudes, or behaviors. Helping your team members will help you craft a better product. Ultimately, it's a team effort and you don't want your team members to be demotivated as they don't know something. If they don't know something which is important for them and if you know it, train them and help them learn it.

That term "difficult team member" is so very imprecise. I've seen a range of difficulties and handled them in a variety of ways. A good starting point is knowing whether their issue is with the team as a whole, the product idea itself, you as the product manager, or even just with life right now. That requires a couple of key resources: 1. Know your team as people, not just their roles in the team. Length of time helps - it's one reason constantly changing teams is an issue. 2. Know yourself and your emotions, how is the "difficult" part of this making you react. 3. Having a good relationship with the team's people managers (assuming you are not doing that as well). Then you have a hope of diagnosing the issues and responding to them.

Emphasis on "last resort" - as soon as you loop others in, things will likely get muddy fast. When two people are solving friction with each other, there's only one "handshake" to manage: the interaction between person A and person B. When you pull in a third person, now you've got 3 interactions to manage: A & B, A & C, B & C. Pull in a fourth person, and now you have 6 interactions. Pull in a fifth person, and now you've got 10 interactions to manage. That's why you really shouldn't pull in your manager, their manager, and/or HR until you're absolutely certain that the two of you aren't able to sort it out on your own. (Caveat: if there's something that violates the law or company policy, you need to loop in leaders ASAP!)

This is factually correct but just play it like a chess game and make sure you know the moves you are making before you make them because once HR is involved you’re opening another door , but if you’re managing them I think it’s correct

In the majority of cases, conflict doesn't come from malice. Other people aren't trying to make you fail. Conflict comes from having different contexts. So, when someone is being "difficult", one question to ask is "what context am I missing?" Some teammates are risk-averse when facing process change. They don't want to lose the old way of doing things, even if you think your way is "better." Too often, I see PMs try to bulldoze through these situations, without asking "how did these old behaviors help them in the past?" Old habits are habits for a reason - they helped people avoid blame, or helped them stay focused, or helped them create an identity. Don't assume that someone's being difficult for the sake of being difficult!

Start by looking inward. Even unintentionally, our actions may influence others' behavior. Before blaming, reflect honestly: - Is there ambiguity in expectations? - Could communication be clearer? - Might changes or policies be disruptive? Consider your possible contributions without judgment. This builds empathy. Then have an open discussion on finding common ground. Participate in the solution. Owning our role models accountability and sets the stage for mutual understanding.

Many times, people "become difficult" when we've failed them. As PMs, it's our responsibility to proactively empower others to succeed! Regularly asking "how are you doing?" and "what suggestions do you have for me?" can go a long way in building trust and fostering a positive atmosphere within the team. By considering the holistic well-being of your team members, you not only address immediate challenges but also contribute to their long-term growth and happiness in the workplace!

Keeping stakeholders updated can do wonders where relevant. - Regular metric updates. - Process updates. - Blocker updates. It may sound simple but being consistent is not.

In your career, you will inevitably encounter difficult team members or customers. While you did not cause the problem, you have to fix it. You must not let problematic people harm the product, project, company, or other employees. Accordingly: 🞄 Do not get angry. 🞄 Do not take it personally. 🞄 Never say or write anything that is not in your company's or yourself's best interests. Then, follow this process to resolve the situation: 𝟣. Listen to what the person is saying. 𝟤. Take responsibility for the situation. 𝟥. Take control of the situation. 𝟦. Set limits on excessive behavior. 𝟧. Agree upon an acceptable solution. 𝟨. End the conversation politely. 𝟩. Follow-up to ensure closure.