What are the best ways to manage your emotions during a difficult meeting?
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Difficult meetings can be stressful, frustrating, and emotionally draining. Whether you are dealing with a conflict, a criticism, or a crisis, you need to manage your emotions effectively to communicate clearly and professionally. In this article, you will learn some of the best ways to cope with your feelings during a challenging meeting and how to use them to your advantage.
The first step to managing your emotions is to identify what triggers them. Triggers are the situations, words, or actions that make you feel angry, sad, anxious, or defensive. They are often related to your values, beliefs, or expectations. For example, you might feel triggered if someone questions your competence, interrupts you, or ignores your suggestions. To understand your triggers, you need to reflect on your past experiences and observe your reactions. You can also ask for feedback from others or use a journal to record your thoughts and feelings.
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Mayla Maduratno Putro
Human Resources | Learning & Development | Organization Development | Reach Higher, Grow Bigger
In my previous experience, there are a few things that help, such as: - Understanding your triggers is an essential step to be taken first. - Listens actively and take notes to try to receive as much information as possible - Be objective as not every point/feedback is an attempt to make your life miserable - Work on your emotional maturity to regulate your feelings and let logic take the lead.
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Saniya Zubair
PMP, SPC6, DASSM, ICAgile-ACC, IBM-Blue Core Coach (BCC).
Understand how your body is reacting to the conflict. Is your breathing faster? Do your shoulder get tensed? Once you notice how your body is reacting, breathe into the area of tension and bring yourself back to the present moment.
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Once you know your triggers, you can prepare yourself for the meeting by anticipating the possible scenarios and planning your responses. You can also practice some coping strategies to calm yourself down and reduce your stress. For example, you can use breathing exercises, positive affirmations, or visualization techniques to relax your body and mind. You can also set some realistic goals and expectations for the meeting and focus on the outcomes you want to achieve. By preparing yourself, you can boost your confidence and resilience.
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Matt Kritz, Ph.D.
Human Performance | Education Innovator | Executive Leadership
I have learned to work hard to not take feedback personally. To try and take the person's perspective who is giving the feedback based on their perceptions.
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Amanda Cherepanov
Connector @ Health Gorilla | Empowering Patient Care | Digital Health + Data Interoperability
Taking the time to prepare yourself for any meeting is key to a productive and successful meeting. If you are aware of individuals attending an upcoming meeting that are specifically challenging for you, taking the time to prepare yourself for potential triggers or conflicting ideas will arm you with the confidence needed to advocate for yourself. I'd also suggest preparing yourself with a few minutes of meditation or a walk so that your mind is clear and ready to be present with your colleagues.
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During the meeting, you need to express yourself in a respectful and assertive way. You can use your emotions as a source of information and motivation, rather than a barrier or a distraction. You can also use some communication skills to convey your message effectively and empathetically. For example, you can use "I" statements to share your feelings and opinions, without blaming or accusing others. You can also use active listening to show your interest and understanding, and ask open-ended questions to clarify and explore the issues.
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Matt Kritz, Ph.D.
Human Performance | Education Innovator | Executive Leadership
I have a very evaluative tone so when I express myself I have to be aware of how my 'normal' direct way of communicating can be interpreted as more evaluative and matter-of-fact, than curious and exploratory.
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Ashley Hall-Greer
Don't be afraid to have some notes. A few short sentences or bullet points can help give you words in case your emotions are clouding your thought process. If you are feeling too emotional, it's OK to ask for a break. I also like to take notes on what the other person says, because I want to make sure I can recall important takeaways with clarity.
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Even if you express yourself well, you might still face some negative or unexpected reactions from others. You need to manage your reactions by controlling your impulses and choosing your actions. You can also use some emotional regulation techniques to cope with your feelings and avoid overreacting. For example, you can use self-talk to challenge your negative thoughts and reframe the situation. You can also use humor to lighten the mood and diffuse the tension. You can also take a break or a time-out if you feel overwhelmed or need to cool off.
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Claire Fierro
Executive Assistant at Philips and Podcaster
When I'm walking into a conversation I know is likely to be critical, I like to take some time beforehand to imagine the worst possible scenario. There's a good chance it won't be the worst case scenario which means the result is better than expected. I also walk in ready to acknowledge and address any shortcomings I believe will be brought up with steps I can take to avoid it in the future. This generally results in either the person appreciating that I recognized the missteps or being told that what I perceived as a major issue was less serious than I imagined.
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Matt Kritz, Ph.D.
Human Performance | Education Innovator | Executive Leadership
It is not personal. The time I take between stimulus and response determines how heard and respected the giver of feedback feels
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After the meeting, you might still feel some residual emotions or stress. You need to seek support from others who can help you process your feelings and provide you with feedback and advice. You can also use some self-care activities to recharge your energy and restore your balance. For example, you can exercise, meditate, or listen to music to relax and unwind. You can also celebrate your achievements, reward yourself, or express gratitude to yourself and others.
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Matt Kritz, Ph.D.
Human Performance | Education Innovator | Executive Leadership
Taking time to process and not overthink is critical when feedback is given. I try and relax even though my head wants to dissect and defend!
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Claire Fierro
Executive Assistant at Philips and Podcaster
Journaling has been very helpful for me in these cases. There was a study done on people who wrote down all the things that bothered them, all the worst case scenarios, fears, disappointments, guilt and then threw the paper away. The people who did so daily saw an improvement in mental health. Sometimes just getting it out of your head an on paper can be enough to help your brain process it, and let it go if needed.
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Finally, you need to learn from the experience by evaluating your performance and identifying your strengths and weaknesses. You can also use some reflection tools to analyze your emotions and understand their causes and effects. For example, you can use the ABCDE model to examine how your beliefs, consequences, and disputations affect your emotions. You can also use the RULER approach to recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate your emotions. By learning from the experience, you can improve your emotional intelligence and feedback skills.
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Dimitri Kourtoulos
Cyprus betting industry pioneer and disrupter. Proven track record of developing and executing successful marketing strategies, driving customer acquisition, brand awareness and revenue growth. Marketing Consultant.
We sometimes get lost in the many types of tech we use for different tasks. Experience is important. You may get mad, you may get emotional, you may even cry during a meeting. All these things have to happen so you reflect and learn from yourself. Meetings take place with different people and in different circumstances, therefore the only constant is YOU. The most important thing is being prepared to listen, because you can still add your comments after a meeting.
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Annie Janelle
Stratège en leadership - Conférencière internationale - Coach - Experte d’EntreChefs PME - JAVA Management
Il est important dans la préparation d'une rencontre d'envisager dès départ tous les points ayant un potentiel de litige, pour les insérer à la fin de l'ordre du jour, à la suite des points importants de décision. Identifier un temps d'échange pour chacun des points de discussion permet aussi de contrôler le déroulement de la rencontre. Les points n'ayant pas été totalement débattus et discutés pourront ainsi être reportés lors d'une rencontre ultérieure. Il importe de réaliser qu'on peut perdre sa crédibilité, lors d'une rencontre qui tourne mal. La préparation est donc essentielle pour respecter tous les professionnels présents et créer une dynamique de collaboration et non de compétition.
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Ezza Naveed
Ed.M. at Harvard in Learning Design & Tech, building a tech fellowship for underserved Pakistani youth.
One thing I've found really helpful is creating a distance between my own reactions and the situation. After pausing and taking a deep breath, instead of trying to communicate with a person (where I feel triggered) immediately, I try to talk to the person after some time, to allow us both to process and share effectively.
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Manisha Dutta
Healthcare professional | WEF Global Shaper and ex-Curator Guwahati Hub l IIT-G and LSR alumna I Exploring health and intersectionality
Take a deep breath, tell yourself 'its okay its someone's perspective/attitude and I need not let that govern me', prepare a suitable response in mind, exercise polite interruption or wait till the appropriate moment. State your viewpoint with grit and integrity, let the speaker(s) know (with a pleasant candour) what was said was inappropriate, uncomfortable or impossible to you, without sounding rude.
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